There's one surefire great replacement in the booth for David Cone; would the Yankees have the guts to make it happen?
By now, you've surely heard that Mr. Exit-Velo himself, David Cone, will hit the Big Time this summer: Sunday night broadcasts on ESPN.
Coney's YES appearances will drop from about 90 to 50 games. In his absence, Paul O'Neill will need an alt universe of new stories, and unless he reads directly from Moby Dick, it will mean vast stretches of dead air.
So who should replace Coney, whose tales - true or not - often served as the most interesting parts of the nightly, five-hour K/BB/HR marathon?
Please sit down for this. Take your hand off the mouse.
Don't just click to Comments and hit caps lock. Hear me out. I've felt this way for years. It works on multiple levels, though some of you will react harshly. The fact is, we all need to be tasered out of our dullard, bovine-like, sleepwalking, fibbertigibbet existence. This would do it.
Yes, that Pedro. The guy who attacked Zim, who demanded to pitch in the Curse-breaker game (and almost screwed it up.) The "Who's Your Daddy?" guy, who spent his career hating the Yankees. Pedro Martinez. And here's why.
1. As a postgame analyst on TBS, he's funny, charming and gracious.
2. Though he hated the Yankees as a player, in the broadcast booth, he regularly defers to his ex-rivals. If anything, he often goes out of his way to praise them, even when they don't deserve it.
3. He is a person of color, and Ken Singleton is edging towards retirement. It's not that they must sign a black or Latino voice, but it's well worth doing.
4. Best reason: His hiring would drive a stake in the heart of Redsock fans. As the seasons progress, Pedro will go the route of all announcers: He'll root for the team that signs his paychecks. As he evolves into a Yankee homer, Boston will burn.
Okay, I know what you're saying. I'll turn on caps lock and do it for you:
BUT HE'S A REDSOCK! WHY HIRE THE ENEMY?
Short answer: Because that's how you turn them. It's cheaper than killing their families.
Long answer: It's worked in the past. We wondered if Tom Seaver could call a Yankee game, but his moments with The Scooter became part of lore. Singleton played for Baltimore, John Flaherty worked everywhere, and Al Leiter - after we dealt him - had every reason to hold a lifetime grudge.
Pedro. Yeah, the one and only. And think of his homer holler: HEY, VERLANDER, WHO'S YOUR DADDY? AARON JUDGE, THAT'S WHO!