Twelve straight also-rans, but here's what embarrasses the Yankees
Wait for it...
Not Andrew Heaney. Not Darren O'Day. Not the collective senses of decay and disillusionment that surge within our breasts when contemplating another season of Gary Sanchez behind the plate, Aaron Hicks in center and God Only Knows at SS...
That's what embarrassed the Yankees.
Yes, the Staten Island Pizza Rats.
As Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up.
Basically, it's a lawyer thing. The Death Barge - seeking to ditch their single A Staten Island affiliate, as part of MLB's massive destruction of the minors - face a lawsuit war against their former club. That means complaining about everything from shower nozzles to the scent of the soap in the dispensaries.
In 2018, Staten Island launched one of those promotional nights when the team played as "the Pizza Rats," honoring a plucky, pizza-slice dragging rodent, whose tabloid photo captured the imaginations of New Yorkers everywhere
Listen: I hate these promotions. The Syracuse Mets once played as the "Salt Potatoes," referring to a lethal means of injecting butter and salt into the human body, a tradition used by the pioneers to destroy the Iroquois. Who doesn't love a potato boiled in salt and submerged in butter - something to suck on until the heart explodes? But a ballclub? Nah. It's all about selling commemorative swag, and frankly, it exploits and demeans the fans.
In 2018, the Staten Island Yankees played a game as the Pizza Rats.
So, how did this fall into the lawsuit? Staten Island is suing the Yankees for breach of contract, and so the Yankees are word-bombing their former affiliate in any way they can. In this case, front office lug nut Lonn Trost - who once raged that poor people were using unclaimed expensive seats in the late innings - called the Pizza Rats an embarrassment to the Yankees.
Listen: On the scale of recent embarrassments, the Pizza Rats fall somewhere far below Pronk and Troy Tulowitski, and they barely crack the top 50.
Today, we look at Cory Kluber in Tampa, Clint Frazier in Chicago, Tyler Wade in Los Angeles, while Gary Sanchez remains our starting catcher. The Pizza Rats are an embarrassment? Get real.